Mamas who date

Guys, life has been so good lately but also so busy.

I’ve started dating again and let me tell you… Yikes!

Dating with a baby is HARD, complicated, but so fun all at the same time.

Let’s rewind before I get into all the details of my dating life.

First things first, I decided that I was going to wait until Parker was a year old before I even thought about dating. I decided this because I didn’t want my energy or focus to go to anything else but her. I moved out of my parents house, postpartum depression hit me hard, I got a big girl job I didn’t totally love just to pay the bills, I was learning how to be a mom but also keep a social life. I didn’t have time to date and that honestly did not bother me. I was content.

Until Parker was a year old… it was weird, like right when December rolled around, I knew it was time to start dating. For one, being a single mom became somewhat doable and I was ready to pour my energy into something new and exciting. I knew I was mentally healthy enough to balance mommy life and dating life.

So, I jumped… on bumble, match and hinge. LOL… desperate? Maybe. But when I say I was ready… I was READY.

I didn’t meet anyone on those sites because, well frankly, I didn’t enjoy trying to get to know someone over the internet to make sure they weren’t a crazy person before agreeing to go on a date with them. That took way too much time and energy out of me. So, there I sat waiting on someone to just knock on my door asking to go on a date with me.

I had a few friends try to set me up with a guy here and there but honestly every guy I talked with didn’t understand how crazy my life really was. I mean I’m a single mom working a full time job so I didn’t have much free time to text someone all day, every day. Some guys blew my phone up and then some guys didn’t take the initiative to text me after I would forget to text back on some days. I couldn’t find a guy somewhere in the middle. My “let’s start dating again” life was really just “let’s text some guys for a few days and then get busy with life and forget to text back”. It was going REALLY well obviously.

I felt silly.

I felt desperate.

I felt like I had no idea what I was doing.

I mean the only guy I really seriously dated was Parker’s father for the past 5 years so I had zero idea how to do this.

I had one guy that was sneakily easing his way into my DMs on Instagram. His first message to me was in September then he finally got my number in December. He was just one of those guys I didn’t think would want to date a girl with a baby because, for one, he was younger than me so I didn’t really give him the time of day. Until mid-January, I finally agreed to go on a date with him.

First date and I laid down the law - “Hi I had so much fun tonight but you do know I have a baby and I’m not looking to just casually date, I don’t have time for that.” Yeah, good idea Madison, that’s exactly what guys want to hear on a first date.

This guy didn’t run though. He asked me on a second date and I almost asked if he was kidding. He wanted to go out to dinner during the week but I declined because Parker went to bed at 7PM but you want to know what he said … “I’ll bring dinner over then after she goes to sleep” … like hook, line and sinker. WOW.

Fast forward… 7 months later and we’re still dating. This guy has never made me feel like Parker is a burden and he has respected every law I've laid down after the first date. He understands that Parker comes first and dating someone with a kid isn’t easy. He has surprised me every single day. I never thought I was deserving enough to have someone love me the way he loves me. It's pretty great you guys. And to think I never gave him the time of day because I didn't think he was the type of guy to want to date a girl with a baby...

Mamas, don’t stop until you find a man that is going to love you AND your child. There are guys out there that are going to choose to raise and care for a child that isn’t their own because they love YOU! If you asked me 2 years ago if I’d be dating the kind of person I’m dating now, I would have laughed. I had NO IDEA how good of a plan God had for me. How good of a man God had for me. How good of a freaking life God had for me. He used the last 2 years of my life to prepare me for this. For the present I am living in now. I wouldn’t be the kind of mama, girlfriend, or friend I am now if God hadn’t done everything he did to prepare me for this.

Don’t settle.

Keep praying.

God has something SO good for you, I promise.