Stop staying.

Stop staying in that relationship because it's comfortable.

Stop staying because you've been together for so long.

Stop staying because it's easier than dating again.

Stop staying because when it's good, it's really good even though when it's bad, it hurts.

Stop telling yourself that he will change.

Stop telling yourself that things will get better.

STOP TELLING YOURSELF THAT THIS IS NORMAL.

GF, I'm here to tell you, PACK YO' BAGS and leave if you are doubting any part of your relationship.

If you're reading this and you feel super offended, rolling your eyes, saying how none of what I'm saying is true, then you should re-evaluate your relationship. That's some tough love for you.

The only reason I feel qualified to say any of this is because, I was that girl... staying... because of all of the above. I felt extremely trapped. I use to make excuses for him to make myself feel better and to just shut everyone up because it was none of their business... but truly it was their business. My friends and family could see what I couldn't.

I was angry all the time, defensive, selfish, depressed, not someone you'd want to be around. How could I be an example to my daughter if I was making myself miserable just to prove a point? That's really what it was. Everyone was against our relationship so my stubborn self wanted to just prove a point. Insane.

Side note** I don't blame it all on him. I absolutely take half the responsibility here because my happiness is my responsibility but I didn't know that at the time. My thinking was so backwards that it's embarrassing.

I tried to leave multiple times. MULTIPLE. GF, it's not "fate" that keeps bringing you back together or God showing you that you should stay, it's manipulation, lies, and normalcy.

Break the freaking cycle because honestly it's getting old and your friends and family want you to live up to your potential. Not be held down by someone because you feel like no one else will want you.

THERE ARE BILLIONS OF PEOPLE ON THIS PLANET. Ok.. yes, that includes already married people and children and what not but BILLIONS nonetheless. Leave that man and go explore the other billions of people looking for what you're looking for.

You are not trapped.

There is someone who will love every little thing about you. I promise. They will love your laugh, your morning breath, your tantrums, your bad days. They may not like it but I promise you they will love you for who you are. They look past your baggage and put it on their back with no complaints. And guess what, you will love every little thing about them too!

You don't know this love because you are too afraid to step out of your comfort zone. I've seen the two extremes and I thank God every.single.day for making me strong enough to leave. I didn't think I could do anything on my own. I thought I needed him. First of all, you don't need no man. Second of all, you don't need no man that makes you feel small. You are amazing, beautiful, strong, and capable of anything.

What you do need is a life long partner. You need someone who will walk beside you. You need someone who will push you. You need someone who you look at and can't believe how incredible they are and someone who looks at you the same way. The feelings you have for each other are equal. And lastly, you need someone who you know God sent straight to you and you believe that with everything in you.

Don't feel like your standards are too high. You are deserving of whatever love you are hoping for. 5 years ago, I made a list after listening to a sermon from Andy Stanley. I wrote down 10 qualities (not looks, but who he is as a person) I wanted to find in a man and put it somewhere I saw every day. I told myself to never settle for anything less. But also, I knew that I had to have those qualities as well. I can't expect something out of someone if I'm not willing to give them the same. It was a rough road, but I found someone who has ALL 10 qualities... I didn't think there was a man but low and behold... I found him and he found me.

So, make your list and if the man you're with right now doesn't live up to it, leave. Walk away and start over. Work on yourself first then find a partner that you want to spend forever with. I promise he is out there.

One last thing, it's not easy.

It's easy to fall in love but to stay in love ... that's where the hard work comes in. But GF, it's worth the hard work to spend the rest of your life H.A.P.P.Y. not trapped.

Enjoy some of my favorite pics with the man who hits all 10 qualities... I feel so lucky.