Balancing mommy life and friends.

This. is. not. easy.

You guys, when you have a baby, you change - your body, your hormones, your life. The overused line "when you have a baby, you find out who your friends are", is the realest thing I have ever experienced.

For me, finding out who my true friends were goes back to right when I graduated college. I lost friends. I actually lost a ton of friends. College is all fun and games but when you graduate, its all work and growing up. Plenty of people don't make that transition as quickly as others or as easily as others, which is totally O.K., but you should still have goals. You should still look at your future and have hope that you will not be stuck in the same place as you are now. Yes, finding a job and moving into a new city is very hard, but if your "friends" don't want to be your support system during that time because they may not be moving on from college as quickly as you, you've got to let them go, or at least take a break and hope they decide to grow up too.

During that time in my life, I lost a handful of people who I thought were "my people". I got angry, frustrated, and pitied myself for some time. I began to question "what is so wrong with me? what did I do to make them hate me?", but as I became successful and began to love this new chapter in my life, it became easier to move on from those friendships. I met new people who had the same goals as me and who lifted me up instead of tear me down for my success. Which in turn upset my old friends because I didn't have as much time for them, so they would lash out on social media or have negative things to say about me to others.

PSA: You are who you choose to surround yourself with!

If you continually choose to surround yourself with people who are living in the past and aren't striving for a better future, GUESS WHAT, you will eventually become that person too. It's one thing to stay connected to those people because you feel like you can really help them on a deeper level but it's another when their bad juju begins to effect you!

Stand up for yourself, move on, and as any southern mama would say - pray for them. But, I say that meaning, pray that God changes their heart and changes their vision. Don't pray that "karma" bites them in the butt because they treated you so badly. Lift them up, don't tear them down, because then you prove that you are no better than them and didn't grow from that experience.

Now, to talk about the super hard friendships that I, to this day, am still trying to hold onto and figure out where these people will fit into yet another new chapter of my life.

Having a baby is so amazing but having a baby when all your friends are still living their young, single lives is not so amazing. I know, timing is everything and God will eventually show me why He is doing what He is doing, but let me tell you, right now, it sucks. NONE of my friends have babies or are even thinking about having babies which is why it is so hard. All of them love Parker like she's their own but they don't understand where my priorities line up now and why I can't just drop everything and go do whatever, whenever. Even if it's as simple as going to dinner. Some nights, I just don't want to take my 9 month old to dinner so she can pull everything off the table and stick everything in her mouth. Like that is seriously stressful just thinking about and it's not fun for me because my focus is on Parker and not on spending time with my friends.

This puts a huge strain on my relationships with all my friends because eventually they just stopped inviting me or "forget" to mention it to me. And at first, it did hurt my feelings and I would get upset but now I realize that they do that because I've said no so many times. These are the friends that I know will be around forever so it's not the same situation as right after college. These friends are my "tribe", they are my back bone and I really could not survive this life without them but I have come to an understanding that right now, I will just have to love them from a distance. I don't take everything they do and say to heart because I realize we just aren't on the same pages of life anymore. But, when we do get on the same pages of life and they start getting married and having babies, I will without a doubt be there for them and I can't wait for that time.

I bet you're wondering... "well does this poor girl hang out with anyone?" I don't blame you for thinking that but the answer is yes, I do actually have a social life. Parker's dad has her every other weekend so on my "off" weekends I'm able to go do whatever I want with my young, single friends and trust me, I take full advantage of my free time. For every other day of my life when I do have Parker, I spend my time with my parents and my sister. My sister has two kids and all her friends have kids so I've really been able to go do activities with them because Parker is always invited. There's no question on whether or not kids can come because that's a stupid question in my sister's friend group... of course there will be kids there.

I have also dove head first into volunteering at my church and have been trying to surround myself with fellow church goers. These are the people I want to surround myself with no matter what stage of life they're in. My church people are the ones who will fill my cup up any day of the week.

So, the whole point of the story is that people will constantly come and go in and out of your life. Each person comes into your life for a different reason even if its for just a month or 5 years. God placed them there. They are there to help you grow, to teach you things, to do whatever it is God intended them to be for you. If those people choose to leave, let them. If they choose to come back (with reason), let them. I don't mean be a doormat but make the best out of your life and in order to do that you can't live with hatred and bitterness in your heart.

Always remember: you are who you surround yourself with!

Check back next week to read about my weight loss journey!

LIKE IT? SHARE IT! AND SUBSCRIBE!!